The October 5 campaign finance reports are out and Dark Money Great Schools Massachusetts of New York, a division of Dark Money Families for Excellent Schools of New York, is ready to propel its campaign forward with exciting new campaign paraphernalia. Buy now on sale while the purchase price remains at the low low price of $9,000,000.00!
What’s left but to make fun of it? In the October 5 OCPF reports, Dark Money Great Schools Massachusetts of New York reported another $1,825,000.00 in public spirited largesse from its parent, Dark Money Families for Excellent Schools Advocacy of 80 Pine St, 32nd Floor, NY, NY. That brings us to these cumulative totals for Dark Money Great Schools Massachusetts of New York, a subsidiary of Dark Money Families for Excellent Schools of New York:
Overall, Dark Money Great Schools Massachusetts of New York has collected just under $12 million.
Sure you could buy a lot of TV for $9,000,000.00 in dark money, but voters really get excited about collecting the traditional paraphernalia of political campaigns. Bumper stickers, perhaps. When Marty Walz argued in favor of charters at a UMassBoston/WBUR/Boston Globe debate, she was asked about the dark money behind the charters campaign and answered “We’re delighted when anybody wants to step up and support our efforts . . . “ The odd thing is that when people are truly delighted they are usually willing to identify themselves. It made me think of the bumper stickers you see out on the road, “My child is an Honors Student at Gaspar Bacon Griswold, Sr. Middle School.” Dark Money Great Schools Massachusetts of New York could distribute bumper stickers that say things like “Our Contributors are Honors Investors at Baupost Group, LLC,” or “Bain is no Bane!”
There has to be some way to capitalize on the Great Schools Massachusetts of New York Campaign Theme Song, It’s Up to You New York, New York. Thank heavens vinyl is enjoying a resurgence, or the youngs would never know the artistry of the skipped record repeating “It’s Up to You New York, New York” over and over again, which is a lyrical metaphor for the Great Schools Massachusetts of New York campaign finance reports.
One sad note in the October 5 OCPF reports is that the Yes on 2 ballot committee has filed a dissolution report. In its short life it raised $710,100.00 , of which WalMart heiress Alice Walton ponied up $710,000.00. Perhaps she grew frustrated at her inability to pronounce Worcester correctly in an Arkansas accent.
The topic of missing persons brings us back to the Curious Case of the Dog that Did Not Bark, also known as the mysterious absence of Great Schools Massachusetts of New York’s 2015 Founding Financiers from the OCPF 2016 reports. Six of these investors also contribute to Strategic Grant Partners, the 501(c)(3) that fronted the $2,150,000.00 in Massachusetts startup money for Families for Excellent Schools. They are Joanna Jacobson, Seth Klarman, Joshua Bekenstein, Paul Edgerly, William Helman and Denise Dupre. And where are they now? Great Schools Massachusetts of New York could issue milk cartons with pictures of the missing millionaires as campaign trinkets.
Which reminds me of my final bumper sticker idea, a limited edition one that would read, “I Launder My Money through Families for Excellent Schools!”
Louis D. Brandeis: "We must make our choice. We may have democracy, or we may have wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both."
[Full disclosure: as an educator in the UMass system, I am a union member. I write about dark money, and not charter schools. I've never written about charter schools, nor taken a position on them. I have taken a position against plutocracy and in favor of democracy, and thus against dark money.]